Hottest in the market...

Dear reader,








Okay, so I know I'm a day late for Musical Monday, but I was busy. Besides, I was going to just skip it altogether, but then I decided to type it up at the last minute, so you should just keep your complaints to yourself, sit back--preferably in a posture of belated gratitude--and enjoy the post. The song of the day is 'Terhangat di Pasaran', by KRU and Adam. Roughly translated, it means 'Hottest in the Market'. It's been a long time since I translated a song, don't you think, dear reader? Well, long enough anyway. So, here it is...enjoy!











KRU & Adam
'Terhangat di Pasaran'

Tak cukup bertiga, kami berempat pula

Makin melonjak-lonjak saham di kalangan wanita

Jika masih ragu, lima puluh-lima puluh

Di penghujung lagu, kau bisa terpengaruh

Bilang saja berapa mata yang memandang mengekori langkahku

Itu pun baru sahaja ku acah lagak gaya penampilan segakku

Jangan kau buang masa melayan jejaka sekadar petah bicara

Usah rungsingkan fikiran, pilihlah aku saja, pakar jurusan wanita

[Chorus]

Jangan ketinggalan, tawaran yang istimewa

Kepuasan dijamin, seratus peratus buatan Malaysia

Dapatkan segera sementara masih ada

Jantan rebutan, terhangat di pasaran

Ku bisa kecapi segala mimpimu

Merealisasi semua impian hidup

 Ku rasa kau sedar (rasa kau sedar)

Ku pilihan nyata (pilihan nyata)

Tak henti-henti panggilan berdering untuk merebut peluang bertutur

Belum kira barisan yang beratur hingga ke Singapura menunggu janji temu

Ramai lelaki mengaku ’macho’ tapi hancur hanya omong kosong

Lainlah aku yang tampan, susuk tubuh menawan, dapat kau pasti beruntung

[Chorus]

Ooh…Ooh…ku tak sampai hati

Melihat kau rugi menggigit jari

Kerana jika kau lepaskan peluang berharga

Bagai dijamu piranha aku disambar

Ayuh lekas-lekas, sementara masih panas

Terimalah diriku, gunakan tanpa was-was

Tawaran ditutup bila ku dah dicekup

Pastinya ku calon membuat kau terpegun

Ku…

Bisa kecapi segala mimpimu

Merealisasi semua impian hidup

 Ku rasa kau sedar (rasa kau sedar)

Ku pilihan nyata (pilihan nyata)

Jaa…ngan ketinggalan, tawaran yang istimewa

Kepuasan dijamin, seratus peratus buatan Malaysia

Dapatkan segera sementara masih ada

Jantan rebutan

Yang terhangat, yang terhangat

Hangat di pasaran

Hey Adam, KRU

Kini bersatu di dalam lagu

Di studio

Di radio

Yeahh…yeah…

English translation

KRU & Adam

'Terhangat di Pasaran'

Three wasn’t enough, now there are four of us

Our stock keeps rising among the ladies

If you’re still doubtful, fifty-fifty

You’ll be convinced at the end of this song

Just count how many eyes are looking, following my movements

And that’s just when I’m acting cool, with my stylish appearance

Don’t waste your time entertaining a man who only talks a good game

You don’t need to think so hard, just pick me, an expert in the field of women

[Chorus]

Don’t miss out, it’s a special offer

Satisfaction guaranteed, hundred percent Malaysian-made

Get it now, while stocks last

Male in demand, hottest in the market

I can achieve all your dreams

Make all your life’s dreams a reality

I think you realize (think you realize)

I’m the obvious choice (obvious choice)

The calls never cease ringing, trying to get a chance to talk to me

I haven’t counted the line stretching to Singapore, all waiting for a date

A lot of guys say they’re ‘macho’ but it’s all empty talk

It’s different with me, handsome, attractive body, you’re sure to profit

[Chorus]

Ooh…ooh…I can’t bear

To see you lose out, biting your fingers

Because if you let go of this valuable opportunity

I’ll be snatched up, like I’m being eaten by piranhas

Come on, hurry, while it’s still hot

Accept me, use me without apprehension

When I’m taken, the offer will be closed

I’m surely the candidate to make you awestruck

I…

Can achieve all your dreams

Make all your life’s dreams a reality

I think you realize (think you realize)

I’m the obvious choice (obvious choice)

Doo…on’t miss out, it’s a special offer

Satisfaction guaranteed, hundred percent Malaysian-made

Get it now, while stocks last

Male in demand

The hottest, the hottest

Hot in the market

Hey Adam, KRU

Come together in a song

In the studio

On the radio

Yeahh…yeah…

Footnote time! The obnoxious announcer guy in the beginning of the video is a famous emcee/talk show host in Malaysia, Aznil. Though, for the life of me, I simply can't figure out why people like him so much. Anyway, I was too lazy to translate what he's saying word-for-word. Basically, he's going on about how he's happy to see us again--us being the audience, him being the host of a fictional TV show called 'Jantan Macho...la'--and introducing the last five competitors who still remain in the running. 'Jantan Macho...la' just means 'Macho Guy...la'. The 'la' is almost impossible to translate because it doesn't really mean anything, it's just used for emphasis. This video is pretty much a parody of a real Malaysian TV show called Akademi Fantasia (Fantasy Academy), AF for short, which is pretty much another American-Idol-become-a-singer-and-get-famous kind of thing. There are a lot of inside jokes that, if you don't live in Malaysia or don't have access to Malaysian TV, you probably won't get. Like, for example, Aznil was actually the host of AF before he got his own show. I love spoofs, don't you?




You know, when I was searching for a nice video to embed, I came across something appalling. I simply hate, abhor, detest, loathe and extremely dislike it when people write stuff like 'dipasaran' instead of 'di pasaran'. If there's a space between the 'di' and the other word, then it's a place. But if there's no space between them, it's a verb. That's a really, really big mistake to make. And there's no such word in the Malay language as 'dipasaran'. Anyway. It has to do with a person's age, also. Malay is a relatively new language, and the rules are always changing. Way back when, during the colonial days, we used to spell words differently. Like 'chinta' is now 'cinta' (love), and 'puteh' is now spelt 'putih' (white). It probably had a lot to do with the British and their phonetic alphabet. But the younger ones have no excuse.




Alright, moving on. I don't really have much to say about this translation. It's a bit rough, though. To any Malay-speakers out there who happen to stumble upon this post, you're welcome to comment and offer any alternative translations. I know mine isn't the only or even the best one. And with that, I bid you adieu. Til next time, my dear reader.














Yours,






Figgy, Not In The Market Or In Demand

1Malaysia...what's that?

Dear reader,



I've been thinking a lot lately. And when I say thinking, I mean I've been engaged in some serious, solemn, deep contemplation. The subject matter upon which I have been contemplating is...Malaysia. Specifically, the 1Malaysia concept. Sometimes I feel sceptical. Could 1Malaysia actually come to pass? In my lifetime? Other times I feel affronted. Hypocrites! This country is full of them. They say one thing and do another. All this lovey-dovey, world peace, be kind to your neighbour stuff is just on the surface. If you dig any deeper--underneath the sugar-coating, 'showing face' veneer of tourism brochures and 'Malaysia: Truly Asia'--you'll find tension. Layers and layers of deep-rooted tension between the races and creeds and colours that make up Malaysia.




We can't help it, of course. What do you expect, just dumping all sorts of races that were never supposed to cohabitate into one single country? Of course there'll be tension and backstabbing and favouritism. We're only human, after all.




But I also think we should've gotten over that racism business by now. I mean, there are people whose great-great-great grandfathers were immigrants, yet they still get treated like second- (third-, fourth-, fifth-) priority citizens in their own country. I think if your family has been in Malaysia for at least two generations, you should qualify to be called a native Malaysian.




A line from the film 'Gubra' comes to mind. Sometimes, for the non-bumiputera citizens of Malaysia, living in this country is like "loving someone who doesn't love you back". It's heartbreaking. It's the feeling you get when someone you love with all your heart betrays you for another. Someone more 'worthy' than you. How do you measure someone's worth? By who their father was? Their religion? Or do you measure them by their actions, their words? By their unyielding loyalty to you?




Granted, not everyone in Malaysia is a racist. In fact, the opposite is true. We all had friends from different races growing up. In primary school, I used to love to listen to my friends' stories about all their different racial customs and beliefs. We used to brag to each other, feigning indifference if someone's story was more impressive than ours. Ha, the pride of little children. We get to mix and mingle with so many interesting people. That is the side of Malaysia that I love. Where else can you have holidays every other month for so many festivals? Easter, Good Friday, Deepavali, Hari Raya, Wesak Day, Christmas, Merdeka...the list goes on. Oh, and the food! Ah, the food. Don't even get me started on the food...a list of all of Malaysia's contributions in the culinary department would stretch for miles. Or kilometres, as the case may be.




Anyway, about this 1Malaysia thing. I for one think it's still a dream: distant, vague, maybe even a little surreal. But unattainable? No. Definitely not. To make dreams a reality, we need to wake up. So wake up, Malaysians. Stop sleeping your life away. Let's make Malaysia a place of faces without races.












Yours,




Figgy the Malaysian

♪ Musical Mondays! ♪♫

Dear reader,

Do you know, I used to call you 'Reader', with a big R. But now I call you 'reader'...with a small r. I wonder what that signifies. Is it simply a lapse of memory or is it something subconscious, like I'm addressing you in a friendlier, more informal way or something? It's probably just because it's easier to type; I don't have to stretch my finger and press the 'shift' key all the time. Eh, whatever. That's actually not what I'm here to talk about. I want to share a song with you, dear reader. And I have decided to make it a weekly event. That way, I can just type up the post beforehand and schedule it to be published on a certain day of my choosing, namely Monday. So, when I have no time to compose a new post, I just pull up one of my reserve musical posts and, voila! Ah, the sheer brilliance with which my mind works surprises me sometimes!

Alright, fine, you can stop rolling your eyes now, my dearest reader. You might hurt yourself. You know, I once rolled my eyes so hard at something my sister Bekah said--I forget what, but it was probably hilariously lame--that I hurt my head. True story. I had a mini headache that lasted about 10 seconds. So, I repeat: don't roll your eyes because you might hurt yourself.

So, for this first Musical Monday, I shall share a song that I've actually had for a long time. I don't know why I never thought of sharing it with you before. Anyway, it's by Alanis Morisette and it's called 'Hand in My Pocket'. Enjoy!

Alanis Morissette

'Hand in My Pocket'

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly, baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickens**t
I'm sick but I'm pretty, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to, my friends
Is that everything's just fine, fine. fine
'cause I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Well, there you have it. It's one of my favourite songs. Oh, except for the part, 'I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby'. If I were to sing it in public, like on stage [as if!] I'd probably change it to: 'I'm found and I'm hopeful, baby'. Because I am found. And I am hopeful. I know these are both true, it's just that sometimes I fail to realize them simultaneously.

Ah. Yes. The...censoring thing. I'm sorry, I just couldn't leave it like that, all exposed and everything. It's like OCD, I must cover up any and all expletives somehow, someway. I just can't say s**t. My conscience won't let me taint the pages of my blog with any word harsher than 'crap'. Seriously, that's like the most vulgar word I've used in this blog, ever. But it's not like I don't swear in real life. I swear, sometimes. Mostly in my head and under my breath, though. And nothing worse than s**t. I just don't type swear words...cause I'm awesome like that, yo.

I'd better go now before I say something else that makes me look squarer. See ya later, alligator!

...okay, I'll admit it. That was an extremely square thing to say. I'll just say goodbye now: goodbye now.

Yours,

Figgy the Found and Hopeful

A'commode'ation

Dear reader,

Swinburne has nice toilets. Or bathrooms, rather. Or water closets, depending which side of the Atlantic you prefer. I find toilet cubicles calming places, where you can think in peace, realign your qi, zen yourself out, and rediscover your equilibrium after a particularly haranguing day at school. It's also the perfect place to apply one's make-up. Oh, speaking of make-up, the lighting in Swinburne's restrooms are simply divine, especially the ones on the ground floors. I highly recommend them, you know, just in case you happen to be in the vicinity of the Swinburne Sarawak campus and you're looking for a peaceful place to put on your make-up.

Why, this very post was conceived and partly-composed in a toilet cubicle. [What, too much information?] Actually, I like to just hang out in the restrooms between classes, regardless of the condition of my bladder. Does that make me weird, kind reader? Does that make me a freak, a socially-inept dweeb who ducks back into my unconventional hiding place at every possible opportunity? Well, say what you will, my dear reader, the fact remains: I am a toilet enthusiast. And besides, this is my blog and I'll talk about what I want to talk about. So there.

Oh, I just realized something. This is the first time I've actually come out and said [...typed?] my college's name. Hmm...I wonder if divulging the name of the college where I study is an altogether wise thing to do. You're not a cyber stalker, are you, dear reader? Well, good. That's a relief. Although, if you are indeed a stalker, I don't expect you'd 'fess up to it just like that, now would you? Pffft. Heh. As if. I mean, who would be willing to go to the trouble of stalking me over this pathetic excuse for a blog anyway? I'm probably the safest blogger in the history of safe bloggers, ever.

Oh, on a side note, do you know that when one googles my name, there are actually results? Actual results, for me! My Facebook page, I think, and my DA page. I had no idea I was so cyber-conspicuous. It's cool and scary at the same time. The thought of leaving my footprint on the sands of time is, of course, extremely gratifying. However, it's also really frightening that I could be traced or investigated so easily. Certain aspects of my life can be scrutinised by random--and potentially dangerous--strangers all over the world. There was this one movie I saw, I forget what it was called. Something like 'Untraceable'. Anyway, it was about this serial killer who used an interactive website to murder his victims. The more views the site got, the quicker the poor guys got killed. And he managed to track down an FBI-cyber-detective-guy, lured him to a secluded spot, incapacitated him and transported him back to his (the killer's) house, and subsequently murdered him in public. He didn't stop there, though. Nope. He went after the FBI-cyber-detective-lady next. He had all the details of her personal life at his fingertips. Very, very scary.

Okay, I think I'm about done. Holy cow! My last post was on the 8th of August! Oh...wait. That's not too bad, considering my track record. Hey, just be thankful I bothered to blog at all. I have three assignments due next week, for your information, my dear reader. Well, I should probably stop procrastinating and just do the darn things. And so the truth comes out. Don't worry, my dearest reader, you're not just a tool for procrastination. At least, not all the time. I sincerely missed my one-sided conversations with you this past month or so. Sincerely. With all...sincerity. Ahem.

So, I guess I'll see you in a bit. Til next time, I remain...

Yours,

Figgy the Toilet Enthusiast