My mother

Dear reader,






Are you aware that it's Mother's Day today? Or at least it will be for another...one hour.


I was eating French toast with peanut butter and apricot jam just now, while simultaneously surfing the net and trying not to drip anything onto my ludicrously expensive Fujitsu-baby. An advert came on TV--yes, I was watching TV as well...who says I can't multi-task? I think it was for Prudential or something. It was this mother talking in an extremely annoying tone to her kid; like, "I love you, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I'll protect you and always keep you safe." I don't know, the way she enunciates gets on my nerves.


My mother was there with me, and I told her I hated that advert. Then she asked me, "Well, how would you talk to your child? Do you ever think of yourself as a mother?" I replied by first snorting, then shaking my head emphatically. She said when she was younger, her older sister (my aunt) never thought she'd be a good mother. "But now look at me. Mothering is all I seem to be doing."


She has four real children, and a score of 'adopted' children, from former students to my sister's boyfriend. You know those adults who just seem to understand young people without needing to try too hard? Yeah, my mum is one of them. She said it's funny how she was such a dysfunctional kid growing up, but now is seen as the 'motherly' type by all the young people we know. And when she says dysfunctional, she's not exaggerating. Her childhood was seriously dysfunctional. We keep telling her to write a memoir or something. I'd definitely read it. There was this one incident involving her older brother, hippies, a nudist camp, and tea. Yup. Remind me to tell you the story sometime.


Anyway, I wasn't really planning on posting much here. Just the token Mother's Day post. Happy Mother's Day, everyone. 

Oh, and by the way, the word 'mother' isn't just defined by a biological link. A mother can be anyone who guides you when you don't know what to do, who manages to teach you things by just being herself, who's not afraid to scold and rebuke you when you cross the line, and who's always there when you need her. A mother is a phenomenal woman, who just happens to care about you enough to look after you and love you.


Phenomenal Woman
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I adore Maya Angelou, don't you? So off you go, dear reader, and strive to become a phenomenal woman. Unless, of course, you are in fact male. In which case, I'm sorry to say, striving to become a phenomenal woman may not be the wisest course of action for you. Become a phenomenal man, then. I'm sure the world could use a lot more of those.

And so, with my token Mother's Day post done, I bid you adieu, dear reader. Til next time, I remain...


Yours,

Figgy the (Not At The Moment, But Future) Phenomenal Woman