Getting into the holiday spirit

Dear reader,


I'm back! It's funny, isn't it...I said I probably wasn't going to post up anything new til March or something, but instead I've been remarkably prolific in that department. 'Tis just further proof of my contrary nature. Anyway. Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Talk about your idiotic, over-commercialized holidays. I mean, Christmas is bad enough--seriously, you expect any person with an ounce of common sense to believe that a fat, red-clothed, white-bearded man whooshes around the globe in a sleigh pulled by magical flying reindeer and delivers presents to every single child in the space of one night. How exactly did kindly St Nicholas of Myra evolve into this way-too-jolly, rosy-cheeked, glorified cat burglar? Yes, glorified cat burglar. I mean, come on, he breaks into your house in the dead of night, and steals your cookies. The truth is, Christmas isn't about giving or receiving presents at all. Or Christmas trees. Or candy canes. Or elves. Or even snow. You know, it's summer in Australia during Christmas. Most people seem to forget that Christmas is Jesus Christ's birthday, and the only reason we celebrate it is to remember the day he was born, and to contemplate what the world would have been like if he hadn't. That's why it really ticks me off when people say Xmas instead of Christmas.

So, to get back to Valentine's. Oh, such a sweet holiday. Those naked, flying babies who look way too young to be handling a bow and arrow without adult supervision aren't scary or disturbing in the least. Have you ever noticed how well-meaning but painfully condescending adults warn little kids not to run with scissors, but then turn around and buy a card that's emblazoned with a design of swaddled infants with angel wings brandishing lethal weapons? It's just so silly. And what exactly is the relation between these infant cupids and St Valentine the martyr anyway? And do we really need a public holiday to remember to love someone? That's really sad. We should treat every day like it's Valentine's Day. Sans the arrow-yielding, barely-clothed babies, of course.

You know, some people refer to Valentine's as 'Singles Awareness Day', otherwise known as S.A.D. Don't get me wrong, dear reader. I'm not one of those bitter singles who pretend they're perfectly happy going solo, but are actually desperately lonely and just too proud to admit it. I'm one of those infuriating, genuinely-happy-to-be-single people, who are so independent and satisfied in their single-hood that it starts becoming obnoxious after a while. I don't think anyone should get into a relationship just to feel like they've achieved something in life. That's just not fair, to you or the unfortunate person who's just being used to boost your shattered self-esteem. I'm not denying that receiving a box of chocolates or an 'I Love You' card would be nice, romantic even, but the principle behind it is still silly to me. Why show your love only on specific days? Why not give your girlfriend, boyfriend, sister, cousin, grandmother, whatever, a present just for the heck of it? Hmmm, I wonder if they make 'Happy Wednesday' cards. If they don't, they should. And if they won't, I will.

Okay, I'm done bashing commercialized, consumer-oriented holidays now. Wow, I never realized what a hippie I am...stick it to the man! Power to the people! Next week's post topic is 'Easter: Bunnies and Eggs. What's Up With That?'

No, seriously...what's up with that?

And on that note, I leave you, dear reader. Til next time, I remain...

Yours,

Scrooge McFig